Moist tears remain on my pillow following yesterday’s end to London 2012. As a Londoner and avid sports fan, watching the USA Basketball Team – packed with players who cry at the thought of Man City wages – go into utter euphoria after winning the gold displayed the beauty of London 2012.
But why did the organisers of last night’s closing ceremony risk this all by reading a rogue Guide to Spoiling Your Closing Ceremony? This has been playing on my mind ever since the thing ended at 11:30 yesterday. So I managed to track a copy down earlier today:
- Every closing ceremony needs music to dazzle, so ensure you have stand-out figures from your local music scene with international appeal performing. Acts like Emeli Sande performing multiple times should do the trick.
- Once you have got the stars it is all about familiarity. People love something to sing along to. With global superstars like George Michael and Annie Lennox on your books you want to make sure they sing their staples like “White Light" and “Little Bird" to really get things going.
- The more close-ups of random athletes getting confused over lyrics the better.
- Picking which official closes the ceremony is of vital importance. Prince Harry is a more competent person than his grandmother, father or brother.
- Prolonged clips of Eric Idle looking dazed, confused and even disgusted whilst surrounded by Asian drummers goes down really well.
- Who needs Oasis when you have Beady Eye?