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Wednesday, August 24, 2011 0


Chris Moyles: I reckon at least three quarters of his appeal disappears should he shed some weight. The rest goes if he wasn't Northern. What does he know about music? Infact, there's nothing to justify this bloke being at the helm of Radio 1's prime slot other than the fact that he's fat and has an accent. Perhaps we should give John Prescott a slot on Kiss?

Dizzie Rascal: It must be illegal to utter a bad word about him. If not, just why do journalists still pump this 'speaker for the youth' line? Whilst his first two albums were great, every album since then has been incredibly average meaningless noise.

Duffy: Great if you're looking for an inferior alternative to Adele and Amy Whinehouse.

Stephen Fry: This poster boy for Middle England clearly has a certain degree of dry whit, but he's not "soo f**king hilarious". And whilst QI is a bit funny it really is not TV gold. Most arguing otherwise seem deluded wannabe intellectuals.

Dame Kelly Holmes: Probably the most talented of all on this list. Yet being made a Dame should reflect a glittering career, which sadly Holmes just did not have. No world records, and prior to the golds in Syndey her most notable performances were at the Commenwealth Games..

Diversity: They are very good. Yet others would stand a greater chance if they too employed a frizzy-haired cute kid with glasses.

Pippa Middelton: After the dust has settled, her bum reveals itself to be no more or less well formed than her sisters. Kate remains to be the prettier of the two in my humble opinion.

Tim Henman:  A nice guy, perfect for flogging bottles of Ariel. But for someone who hadn't even been in the final of a Grand Slam I'm left wondering why a small hill was named after him. 

Cheryl Cole: A geordie criminal turned 'national sweetheart'. I'm unsure where the talent is though. That's assuming being repeatedly mugged off by a footballer doesn't yet count

Lenny Henry: If Fry and Moyles weren't that funny, this chap is probably as funny as choking to death on a chocolate HobNob.  


Feel free to add any you feel I've missed out in the comment box below! 

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